I hate you, so much.
I hate how you ignore me.
I hate how you never answer me, except for when nothing else is going on.
I hate how you make me feel like your 'backup girl', the one you go to when there's nothing else.
I hate how you're my best friend.
I hate how I love you.
I hate how you mess with my emotions.
I hate how you send mixed signals, how you flirt with me one second and drop me the next.
I hate how you're perfect- I hate how beautiful you are.
I hate how you lied that one time.
But what I hate most of all, is that I don't really hate you, not at all.
I don't hate how you ignore me, instead I wait by the phone.
I don't hate how you never answer me, I just enjoy every word you DO say to me.
I don't hate being your backup girl- not really, because it means I am a part of your life, however small.
I love our relationship, however fucked and broken it is, because it's there. Despite the odds, it's there.
And even though I'm a heartless bitch, I love you. Hopelessly, needfully, irrevocably- with every fiber of my being. And I can't hate that- not the only pure part of me.
And I wish, best friend, that you would call.
